I'm Comic Sans, Asshole

http://www.mcsweeneys.net/links/monologues/15comicsans.html

The only thing that pisses me off about this article, and the site, is that I didn’t do it.

It is pure, unadulterated brilliance.

Here just a snippet from this awesome monologue:

While Gotham is at the science fair, I’m banging the prom queen behind the woodshop. While Avenir is practicing the clarinet, I’m shredding Reign In Blood on my double-necked Stratocaster. While Univers is refilling his allergy prescriptions, I’m racing my tricked-out, nitrous-laden Honda Civic against Tokyo gangsters who’ll kill me if I don’t cross the finish line first. I am a sans serif Superman and my only kryptonite is pretentious buzzkills like you.

-Jeff